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12 Things Learned in 12 Months of Marriage

June 14, 2015 By: Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC25 Comments

On this day last year, I stepped into a whole new role as a wife. I can not believe that K and I got married a year ago! I really feel like this past year has been both the shortest and the longest year of my life at the same time. As well celebrate one year, I thought I’d share one thing I’ve learned for each month we’ve been married. Here are my 12 things learned in 12 months of marriage. Of course we’ve just been married for one year and I know pretty much nothing about marriage but we are learning as we go along and so I’m just sharing what I’ve figured out and what great advice has been shared with me! 

lessons learned from one year of marriage

  1. Marriage is the ultimate compromise. After 31 years of not really having to answer to anyone else, it was a bit of a challenge (okay, real talk: it was hard as HECK) and still is. But it’s worth it. Marriage really is about putting aside a lot of your selfish desires and being willing to compromise with your spouse. There’s just no way to get around that. 
  2. Pick your battles. There are going to be a million little things that drive you crazy. Resist the urge to make each of those little things known. Sometimes you have to choose what to bring up and what to let go. I’ve found it’s a key for peace in our home. πŸ™‚
  3. Make time for fun. Life gets busy and it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of work, bills and responsibilities. All those things matter but set aside time for the two of you to just have fun. We are learning to get better at this. 
  4. It’s the little things. When you are still in the courting / dating phase, there are lots of big gestures. However, once you married, you discover that it’s the little things that happen everyday that set the fine for your marriage. Things like checking in during the day, picking up a treat for your spouse or just being extra thoughtful. Those things matter. The big gestures are fun, but live is made up of the little things. 
  5. You are on the same team. One of my friends said this to me early on when K and I had an argument. It was a great reminder that even when he is driving me insane, he’s not the enemy. He’s my husband. 
  6. Prayer has to be the center. If you aren’t a believer feel free to skip ahead to number seven, but for anyone who is, prayer and your faith absolutely have to be at the center of your marriage or else it just doesn’t work. 
  7. Community matters. Having a community to support you is key. We’re lucky to have great friends and a great church community surrounding us. 
  8. Be each other’s biggest fan. While we are far from perfect, you will not find me seriously criticizing K to others. Sure, I’ll complain about how he eats everything…but I would never voice more serious concerns casually to others. If I don’t have my man’s back, who will? 
  9. Learn each other’s love language.  This can really help you understand where your partner is coming from. Trust me. 
  10. Put date night in the budget. This goes along with have fun. Make your quality time together a priority. 
  11. Don’t forget your vows. Those words carry meaning – don’t forget what you said and why. 
  12. Love each other well. This really sums up everything else on this list. 

If you’re married, share the best piece of advice you received! 

PS – A special shout out to the man who loves me for who I am, and always encourages me in just about every single thing I do (sometimes he questions all the marathons :)). I love you. 


Comments

  1. Mar @ Mar on the Run says

    June 14, 2015 at 9:09 am

    Great lessons! My heart is so happy for you
    Cannot believe it’s been a year. Happy Anniversary and here’s to a lifetime more! Love you both πŸ™‚
    Mar @ Mar on the Run recently posted…Enjoy Summer Feet with Emjoi Micro-Pedi!!My Profile

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  2. Jennifer says

    June 14, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Happy Anniversary, hope you are having a fun weekend.
    Jennifer recently posted…Friday Five Ҁ“ Favorite Things at the Moment IVMy Profile

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  3. Linda says

    June 14, 2015 at 10:45 am

    After 14 years of marriage, we STILL have to remind ourselves of all of those things. By far the thing we’ve worked on the most is our communication. You’ve got to talk about your issues so they’re not issues anymore, you know? And Amen to #6!

    Reply
  4. Sara says

    June 14, 2015 at 7:05 pm

    Aw happy anniversary!
    Sara recently posted…Mustache Shirt for Dad!My Profile

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  5. Hollie says

    June 14, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    This is so lovely and congrats on one year!
    Hollie recently posted…Recovery, Cross Training & CoreMy Profile

    Reply
  6. Daisy @ Fit Wanderlust Runner says

    June 14, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Love love love this post! Congrats on making it to the one year mark. πŸ™‚ One thing I learned (and it sounds weird to say but), we learned how to “fight.” We pick our battles and address issues right away, have conversations and never raise our voices. We listen to each others opinion and respect one another to not let things get overboard. I’ve been married for almost three years and I am still learning every day but I am enjoying this journey my husband and I chose. Happy Anniversary!
    Daisy @ Fit Wanderlust Runner recently posted…Keep Running or Take Time Off After a Race??My Profile

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  7. Brittany Mcneil says

    June 15, 2015 at 1:24 am

    Great blog and awesome list! Congrats on 1 year! Marriage is such an awesome and rewarding journey. One thing my husband and I have done that helped is had a Vision Retreat. Jimmy Evens has a book called Mountain Top Marriage. The vision retreat allows you and your husband to set yearly goals that cover finances, quality time, family oriented time, children, work, ministry goals and so much more. It’s a really great thing to do for your marriage.

    xoxo,
    Mrs McNeil

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      June 15, 2015 at 9:02 am

      Thanks for sharing this info!

      Reply
  8. Amy @ Running on Faith and Coffee says

    June 15, 2015 at 8:43 am

    Wonderful lessons!! We have been married for 12 years next month, and I am still learning. It’s a daily process and I wouldn’t be able to do it without Christ.
    Praying you have a multitude of happy years ahead of you. β™₯
    Amy @ Running on Faith and Coffee recently posted…Monday MotivationMy Profile

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      June 15, 2015 at 9:04 am

      Thank you for the prayers! Always needed and appreciated!

      Reply
  9. Marilyn says

    June 15, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Happy Anniversary! This is such a great post – especially number 8! Nothing makes me more crazy than when I hear people bad-mouth their spouse. Of course we don’t have to be happy-clappy and pretend everything is perfect all of the time, but talking negatively about your spouse is toxic!

    You should check out my friend’s blog – Stay Married. It is such a great website with tons of ideas and things to think about it. I love it, and helps me #staymarried!

    Cheers to many more happy anniversaries!
    Marilyn recently posted…FIVE FAVORITE SUMMER ACTIVITESMy Profile

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    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      June 15, 2015 at 8:12 pm

      Thanks for the blog recommendation – I’m gonna go check it out.

      Reply
  10. Lindsay T. says

    June 15, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    love this and completely agree. The best advice I got was when I was talking to one of my friends about an argument and she said “yeah but when you’re on the same team you don’t keep score against your teammates”.

    Happy anni!
    Lindsay T. recently posted…Paleo Meal Plan for the Week + Paleo Veggie BowlMy Profile

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      June 15, 2015 at 11:39 pm

      Oooh that’s good!! Thanks lady!

      Reply
  11. Leana says

    June 16, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    Happy anniversary! Our best man made a great comment in his speech that you should still feel like your spouse is your boyfriend/girlfriend. Keep that little spark alive about what is fun and exciting about dating. I think that helps to keep a bit of the magic.
    Leana recently posted…Weekend in Review 06.15.2015My Profile

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    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      June 17, 2015 at 9:55 am

      That’s totally key! And a good reminder – thanks Leana!

      Reply
  12. Nicole @ Fitful Focus says

    June 18, 2015 at 12:45 pm

    Awe yey! Happy anniversary to you both!
    Nicole @ Fitful Focus recently posted…The Boyfriend Chronicles: Where’s My Blogger Swag?My Profile

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  13. Kathryn @ Dancing to Running says

    June 18, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Marriage is definitely all about compromise!
    Kathryn @ Dancing to Running recently posted…Baby Questions AnsweredMy Profile

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  14. Marcia says

    June 18, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    Aw happy anniversary! That first year is a whirlwind for sure. This was very sweet to read.
    Marcia recently posted…Things To Do After a Goal Race & GiveawayMy Profile

    Reply
  15. To i says

    June 18, 2015 at 8:37 pm

    Happy anniversary. You’ve gained a lot of wisdom in just a year of marriage. I have been married for 15 years and it took me a few to learn all of that!
    To i recently posted…Tomato Basil Quinoa #NOWWellnessMy Profile

    Reply
  16. jill conyers says

    June 19, 2015 at 6:51 am

    Happy anniversary and many many more years being together!
    jill conyers recently posted…16 Foods for Healthy Glowing SkinMy Profile

    Reply
  17. Elena says

    June 19, 2015 at 7:35 am

    Happy anniversary! So many important lessons here! I found myself nodding along with all of them!
    Elena recently posted…Be a Running Tourist in Washington DC with Run My CityMy Profile

    Reply
  18. Carmy says

    June 19, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Picking your battles is a pretty hard one for me recently. gotta hold my tongue and just throw out the garbage instead of waiting for him to bring it out…
    Carmy recently posted…What Running Has Taught MeMy Profile

    Reply
  19. Tedi @ running with infertility says

    June 23, 2015 at 1:56 am

    You said that all perfectly. I didn’t know a lot of that stuff until a year or more after being married.

    The best advice I’ve been given is that marriage isn’t just a ‘happily ever after’ it’s happily ever after – then you go to work. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work and functional properly.
    Tedi @ running with infertility recently posted…Things that are Marathon Training Week 10 RecapMy Profile

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      June 23, 2015 at 10:28 am

      Yes! It’s a lot of work but worth it πŸ™‚

      Reply

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