On this day last year, I stepped into a whole new role as a wife. I can not believe that K and I got married a year ago! I really feel like this past year has been both the shortest and the longest year of my life at the same time. As well celebrate one year, I thought I’d share one thing I’ve learned for each month we’ve been married. Here are my 12 things learned in 12 months of marriage. Of course we’ve just been married for one year and I know pretty much nothing about marriage but we are learning as we go along and so I’m just sharing what I’ve figured out and what great advice has been shared with me!
- Marriage is the ultimate compromise. After 31 years of not really having to answer to anyone else, it was a bit of a challenge (okay, real talk: it was hard as HECK) and still is. But it’s worth it. Marriage really is about putting aside a lot of your selfish desires and being willing to compromise with your spouse. There’s just no way to get around that.
- Pick your battles. There are going to be a million little things that drive you crazy. Resist the urge to make each of those little things known. Sometimes you have to choose what to bring up and what to let go. I’ve found it’s a key for peace in our home. 🙂
- Make time for fun. Life gets busy and it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of work, bills and responsibilities. All those things matter but set aside time for the two of you to just have fun. We are learning to get better at this.
- It’s the little things. When you are still in the courting / dating phase, there are lots of big gestures. However, once you married, you discover that it’s the little things that happen everyday that set the fine for your marriage. Things like checking in during the day, picking up a treat for your spouse or just being extra thoughtful. Those things matter. The big gestures are fun, but live is made up of the little things.
- You are on the same team. One of my friends said this to me early on when K and I had an argument. It was a great reminder that even when he is driving me insane, he’s not the enemy. He’s my husband.
- Prayer has to be the center. If you aren’t a believer feel free to skip ahead to number seven, but for anyone who is, prayer and your faith absolutely have to be at the center of your marriage or else it just doesn’t work.
- Community matters. Having a community to support you is key. We’re lucky to have great friends and a great church community surrounding us.
- Be each other’s biggest fan. While we are far from perfect, you will not find me seriously criticizing K to others. Sure, I’ll complain about how he eats everything…but I would never voice more serious concerns casually to others. If I don’t have my man’s back, who will?
- Learn each other’s love language. This can really help you understand where your partner is coming from. Trust me.
- Put date night in the budget. This goes along with have fun. Make your quality time together a priority.
- Don’t forget your vows. Those words carry meaning – don’t forget what you said and why.
- Love each other well. This really sums up everything else on this list.
If you’re married, share the best piece of advice you received!
PS – A special shout out to the man who loves me for who I am, and always encourages me in just about every single thing I do (sometimes he questions all the marathons :)). I love you.