It’s time for more Real Talk here on the blog. I thought I’d talk a bit about the things they don’t tell you about wedding planning before you get engaged. I should say that I’m not trying to complain — but like most things, there are some surprising things that have happened during this process. Since we’re officially T-3 weeks, I thought I’d share!
- Everyone will have an opinion. Figure out early whose matters to you. For me, that includes obvi K, my parents and my close, close friends. Everyone else, I politely tune out. Folks all mean well. But very few folks know your whole vision — and without that, it can be hard for folks to understand why you are doing certain things. Listen to those who are in your inner circle and smile and nod at the rest.
- People will surprise you. In both good ways and bad. I’ve been overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends and family and shocked by some of the snarky comments we’ve heard. Nothing too awful but a few “well we’re not invited anyway” remarks have made it my way. What’s been interesting is that no one has sad any of this to me. And it’s only been a few folks. But I just was kind of surprised – I never really expected folks who apparently feel entitled to come to our wedding. The truth is if we could, we would probably invite about 100 more people. But we can’t and that’s just a fact. If you find yourself in a similar situation, just be prepared for this.
- Wedding planning is HARD. You and your fiance will fight. I mean, this is real talk, right? The chances are high that you and your love have never planned a party for 150 of your closest friends and family members. It is not easy. You will get annoyed, you will argue, you may even question if you really want to marry this person who can’t plan the rehearsal dinner/corral his groomsmen/fill in the blank. It’s normal. I’ve had a lot of good runs where I’ve just let go whatever was upsetting me. Shake it off — it happens and it’s okay. Remember why you are getting married — and take time to do fun things that are NOT wedding related!
- You have to get comfortable saying no. You may have a vendor who’s not working for you and have to tell your planner (not mine, I love you Hannah!) or your florist or your _____ NO. And that’s your right. It’s you and your fiance’s wedding and what you both want is most important.
- That being said, YES it is your wedding and YES it is about you and your fiance…but…it’s not JUST about you. You are a host and therefore should be a gracious one. Yes, what you want is important…but think about your guests as well. For example, one of the reasons we aren’t getting married in DC is that parking is a disaster and I couldn’t imagine my grandmother and other family members having to navigate that. That’s also why we searched for a place where we could do both the ceremony and the reception. Not that that is a necessity, but you get the point. It ain’t just about you!
Weigh in…what do you wish you would’ve known about wedding planning before you started?