When you were 16 years old, where did you think you’d be at age 25? At age 30? When I was younger, I kept a journal and
sometimes very rarely, I like to go back and read what I wrote. There is one particular entry that always gives me pause. I was 19 and a sophomore in college and I was in love with my then-boyfriend, E. E and I dated for all my four years of college and we had an incredibly intense relationship. Anywho, I wrote (and this is paraphrased): “I’m scared that one day I’m going to wake up and be 25 and not have E and I just can’t imagine what that would be like.” As it so happened, by the time I was 25, E and I had been broken up for four years and I was working as an attorney in Birmingham. Things turned out nothing like the way I had planned. And you know what? I’m so happy about that.
I’ve found that one of the greatest things about life is the surprises that are thrown your way. How boring would it be if you had everything figured out by the age of 20? I am so different from the person I was at 19, at 21, and even at 25. As I get closer to 30, it’s fun to reflect back and see what the common thread is from all the different dreams that I’ve had. It’s been so nice to see my friends settle into different careers and explore different paths. Some of them are married with 2 or 3 children (ahem, L!), some of them are just getting engaged, some are single and killing it in their chosen professions and some are (like me) still figuring out what exactly they want to do when they grow up.
I think I somehow thought that I’d have it all figured out by now and coming to terms with the fact that in general, I have no idea what I’m doing, has been strangely freeing. And in a strange way, being okay with that fact has allowed me the freedom to discover the field that I truly love (education) and even find a way to marry that with my other major interest (the law). So maybe I kinda know what I’m doing after all? 🙂