Q: “Hey, how are you?”
A: “Good, but busy.”
How many times in a week do you have a conversation that starts that way? If you are anything like me, more than you care to recall. It seems that being “busy” is now really just a status symbol that represents how important we are. It’s something that most of us do and I honestly think it’s gotten out of hand (speaking for myself here, y’all. #realtalk). So read on to see how I’m going to stop the busy trap.
Listen, there is no way to stop being too busy – life is busy. That is just a fact. But you can stop the busy trap – which is the idea that by constantly saying how busy you are it somehow validates you or your work. Here’s a few ways to start doing that:
- When someone asks you how you are doing, take five seconds, think about it and tell them about something specific that is happening in your life rather than giving a rout “too busy” answer. Here’s an example: “hey, how are you?” “oh, I’m good. I am presenting at a conference in Chicago this week and am so excited for visiting the home of deep dish pizza” (perhaps this is something I said today. I mean, pizza is good, no judgment).
- If you constantly find yourself thinking that you are too busy (I’m raising my hand here) take a step back and actually chart your time. When I do this, I discover that actually when I really focus on completing tasks as opposed to stopping to check email / facebook / etc., I’m quite efficient. I like to work in 45 minute chunks and then take a stretch / social media / snack break. This might not work for you, but looking at how you are actually spending your time may reveal that you are not quite as busy as you imagined.
- When someone responds with “busy” when you ask how they are, follow up with a question / comment like this: “Yes, life is so busy. What are you really looking forward to this month?” This acknowledges that they are feeling overwhelmed and gives them the chance to shift that into actually talking about something fun that is going on with them.
- Commit to not saying the word busy in reference to yourself for a week. Just try it. I’m in the middle of trying to do this now and I’ll admit, it’s tough. “Busy.” It just seems to roll right off my tongue and in fast paced DC, people actually are busy. But that’s not the point. The point is that, like I mentioned earlier, life is busy. But that busyness isn’t a badge or honor nor should it be.
Do you fall victim to the busy trap? Have you ever tried to stop being “too busy?” How’d it go?
Wow perfect timing! Lately busy has become a common word coming out of both mine and my fiance’s mouths. My goal for this week is to make time for things I want to do and not use the B word so much 🙂
stacey recently posted…Nine Days
I was really writing this to myself – I’ve been so bad w/abusing the b word! Good luck this week 🙂
Oh, I am the worst at this.
I always say I am busy when people ask.
I think my standard answer is, “Good, but busy!.”
Abby @ BackAtSquareZero recently posted…Loving Lately – April
Yep, me too. Ugh. I’m trying to change it.
Right in the heart… and it makes me cringe every time I say it, but that’s the quickest explanation sometimes! I like the idea of picking something specific.
Also, please bring me some pizza…
Lol. I am bringing you pizza in July! xx
Very interesting topic. I find that choosing to let certain things go is my sanity/relief from being busy. My house is a disaster – we have a remodel going on, there is dust everywhere, and if I manage to put clean laundry away sometime between this weekend and next then it will be a good week. Unless we are having company (hardly ever), I’ve decided I don’t care and I’d rather use the extra time for sleep, training, hanging out with family, or catching up with my virtual community online. I also try to have 15 minutes every night where I read a magazine or book before bed.
Kelli recently posted…Grumpy Kel Attempts a Duathlon
I think you have a great approach! You can’t do everything all of the time 🙂
This could not be more true! I hate being busy but find that I am usually more unproductive than busy. Sometimes we have to think about the simple things in life and focus on eliminating clutter.
Yes, exactly right! I’m trying to be better about this!
Thanks for this reminder! I find myself “busy” too often as a full time pharmacy tech, personal trainer, marathoner, and haphazard blogger lol Your tips are helpful!
Jess@ flyiNg feet recently posted…Making a Difference Link-Up With Miles-to-Go & NUUN GIVEAWAY!!
Yep, sometimes it’s just choosing to not fall into that “I’m so busy trap.”
What a great post! And you hit the nail on the head when you said people use “busy” to validate how “important” they are. I have often thought that. I was at a christian women’s conference once and I love the one saying we learned that Every one of us has the same exact amount of time, it’s just how we use it.
Yes – that saying is sooo true and I’m trying to remind myself of that 🙂
Hmm, I think there’s a difference in being too busy and using it as an excuse. I’m always busy, lol, that’s just life but still have time for friends and getting my priority stuff done. If I’m talking to a good friend and say I’m busy I usually follow it up with something else. Interesting though here!
Mar @ Mar on the Run recently posted…Countdown to Pittsburgh: Training Update
Yeah, my point was that life is just busy – I don’t know anyone who isn’t busy with life. But I think that by constantly talking about how busy you are, it’s almost like bragging: like “oh I’m so busy.” I personally think that always leading with “I’m too busy” has become a badge of honor that I don’t want to wear anymore. Even though the fact that I am busy isn’t going to change – it’s not going to change for anyone. 🙂
I like to think that I escaped the “busy trap” when I decided to stay home with my children. Then I started a blog… Lol. I choose to respond with a feeling rather than an action when people ask how I’m doing and usually I respond with “great” or “blessed”. Great post!
Stephanie recently posted…When Your Healthy Lifestyle is More Like A Healthy Dream
love your responses, stephanie! thanks for stopping by 🙂
I think it just a GIVEN that everyone is busy these days. I hate hearing it and I make a point of not using it in conversation. Sounds kinda pretentious like you are implying the other person is NOT busy.
Elle recently posted…Sunday Run Day… Monday Insights
yeah, i agree!!
Hmmm. I might try some of these tips!
Coach Henness recently posted…5 Snatchable Snacks
I hate it when people constantly complain about being so busy. It’s like they are more important than you. (BIG time work peeve.)
Margo recently posted…Brooklyn Fit Chick Vlog 110: The AcaciaTV Subscription Giveaway @AcaciaFitness
oh yes. we are ALL busy – it’s called life 🙂
You weren’t just talking to yourself…I’m so guilty! I REALLY need to work on that! Great tips!
Artney recently posted…Jeff Galloway’s Four Ways To Energize Your Day and Clear Your Brain
This is a great post, Courtney! I rarely ever say that I’m busy, even though I might be, because I rarely feel busy; I do, however, say it to Jonathan when I’m wishing he would ask if he could help me do something around the house – ha! So, as you can see, I use this “term” busy for my own reasons that need to be examined… 😉
Tara @ Running ‘N’ Reading recently posted…Weekend Update
hahaha love how you use the word busy 🙂
guilty on all counts! I need to really find a way to adopt to our schedule a little better. I have the tendency to take on too much!
Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner recently posted…Butterscotch, Chocolate & Oatmeal Protein Bars
Good to know I’m not alone!
I finally learned from previous years that everything hits the fan as the school year draws to a close, so I do my volunteering earlier in the year rather than now. It makes things SO much better! Make sure you go to Gino’s East!
Marcia recently posted…CARA 10-Mile Race Report
i’m probably going to skip gino’s this visit (trying to eat better) but i’ll definitely have a great time in chicago!
I’m so so busy but never to busy to run or meet friends! If you want to meet up while you’re in Chicago, let me know! I’m off on Thursdays…
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…CARA Lakefront 10 miler race report: PR and IPA
okay, i will! thursday actually might work really well – i’ll be in touch 🙂
I definitely fall into the “I’m too busy” trap more often than I’d like to admit. But taking a step back and really looking at how I’m spending my time helps me to prioritize.
Kathryn @ Dancing to Running recently posted…Weekly Training Log – Week of April 13th
yeah, i was not happy w/how much i found myself saying that so i’m working to change my perspective! 🙂
OH I am SO guilty of this. I say I’m busy all of the time. i really need to approach it like this in the future. Great way to look at it!
Such a great reminder. You should never be too busy for friends or family. I don’t want to fall into the too busy trap anymore!
Sandra Laflamme recently posted…Running and reflecting
What about when you have 3 jobs, can I say i’m too busy then? lol – no really, I agree. It becomes hard to stay in touch because you really are just so consumed with what’s going on, but that’s no reason to not have a real conversation or be engaged!! Thanks for sharing!
Sam @ PancakeWarriors recently posted…Black Bean Quesadilla
Guilty!! I become busy with everything else and sometimes certain things like my friends, relationships, my household chores suffer a bit because of it. This is a great article!
Katie @ Huff ‘n Puff to Buff ‘n Tough recently posted…Dirty Girl Mud Run Chicago
it’s so easy to fall into that trap!
I can’t stop right now but I promise to as soon as I take [and pass] the NASM PT exam 🙂 It’s a temporary too busy!
hahaha, okay i can get down with that, jill! 🙂
Great post! I think it becomes habit to see busy even if I am not. I prefer to be nonbusy. It is so much more peaceful!
Betsy recently posted…DailyLook Elite Box Review: April 2015
it IS more peaceful!
Great advice! I just realized I say this every single time someone asks me how I’m doing., Definitely taking note and am going to work on this!
carissajade recently posted…Create A Thought Box To Strengthen Writing Habits
This is so TRUE. I often feel as if I am very ‘busy,’, but sometimes I’m just running around like a chicken with my head cut off, not really getting much done, but just being ‘busy.’ I feel as if I am often more productive when I focus on the things that I am really called to, instead of trying to do a million and one things. Thanks Courtney!
Yes, that’s very true for me as well!
One of my friends once commented “you don’t own busy,” by which she meant, get over yourself LOL. I need to break some bad habits and make better use of my time because I think that would make me much more efficient…
MCM Mama Runs recently posted…TOTR: Running from Depression
ooh, I like that quote from your friend!
Definitely guilty on all counts, though I have made gains on slowing down and escaping some of the mindless busy i get sucked into.
Stephanie (@FitMomTraining) recently posted…Mayhem Monday: Battling the ‘Mill
It’s a work in progress for me!
I have fallen victim to the busy trap but it is because I am BUSY! LOL But seriously – there’s constantly things going on and I rarely respond to folks with the word BUSY other than when it comes to work – because then folks leave you alone. I’ll try to avoid the word this week and see if I can do it.
Diatta @ Femme Fitale Fit Club recently posted…Product Review: April Fit Snack Box
I’m doing well so far – of course it’s only Tuesday 🙂
I couldn’t agree more!
Yes, I have lots of things on the go, but I haaaaate the “busy” excuse. We can all make time for what is important to us. I think saying we’re busy has become a way for us to one up other people.
Ange @ Cowgirl Runs recently posted…Running Friends are the Best Friends
yes – i completely agree about how it is often one upping folks by complaining about how “busy” we are!
This is an awesome reminder to not get lazy with our words. Busy does not say anything! Love the idea of breaking the busy habit and helping others keep it real too. Great post, thank you.
Thank you – I’m really trying to be intentional about this!
Great tips! I am constantly saying I am busy, and I need to quit that out! 😀
Chanel | Cultural Xplorer recently posted…Sushi for Beginners: A Cultural Experience in Tokyo
such great tips! So many people fall into that mindset of needing to justify how busy they are and how much work they are doing. someone i know is always sharing on social media pictures of her office in her NYC building, and “running to meeting after meeting” and “another busy day!” I get it. You’re busy with work…so am I! being busy and working all the time should not be something to strive for, in my opinion. I’m all about work life balance! end rant lol
Patty @ Reach Your Peak recently posted…Are You Doing These 3 Types of Running Workouts
EXACTLY!!! I hate seeing that and more than that I hate doing it!
I’m definitely a victim of the too busy trap. Need to manage my time better!
GiselleR @ Diary of an ExSloth recently posted…27 Hearty & Healthy Breakfast Oatmeal Recipes
Good advice! I am SO guilty of this. One thing I’m trying to do is to actually just BE less busy. I realized that I was over-volunteering for stuff just because it made my ego feel good. I’m not kidding – I’ve been doing 30-40 hours a month of volunteer work for the last three or four years in addition to a full time job. That can get really crazy-making. I decided that I could use that time instead for things that would benefit my family instead, like beefing up my blog and doing some things to start producing income with it. #SITSSharefest
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