There is so much talk about work-life balance. It’s everywhere and I think that sometimes all this talk about what I call the illusion of balance can be really damaging. I say the illusion because with social media, it really is just that. An illusion. We’re all guilty of it and it’s fine. But I think it’s sometimes helpful to remember that it is indeed an illusion – even when someone is keeping it real. I was inspired to write this post after a friend asked how I balance everything. I responded on Instagram (see below) but also wanted to write a bit more in a blog post. this post contains an affiliate link.
I want to start off by talking a bit about the illusion and then I’ll move on the reality. First, the illusion. Social media is such a small portrayal of actual life. I’ll take myself for an example. On most days, I post 3 pictures to Instagram. One is always a bible verse. If I’ve run that day, that is usually my second picture. And the third could be anything – food, Sasha pics, random stuff, whatever. My point in sharing this is that the 3 pictures represent SUCH a small portion of my day and my life. They are pretty representative of who I am and what I’m about – but it’s just 3 pictures. And, they are 3 pictures that I CHOSE to share. Again, I’m honest on social media but I’m not going to share a picture of myself crying after I watch This is Us (or any commercial about dads and daughters – I’m a daddy’s girl, can’t help it). I’m probably not going to share the picture of my tasty dinner that looks really weird because of the light. I try to share things that are interesting or fun or relevant. But – 3 pictures a day is not a lot, y’all. So, yes, it is a bit of an illusion because it’s not the full picture. It’s a snapshot of life – and that’s okay as long as everyone remembers that. There are so many things that happen in life. I think it would be odd if every single thing you experienced in your life could be strung together by your Instagram posts.
As I said on Instagram, the reality is that you can have “it all” but you probably can’t have it all at the same time. At least that is my reality. I try to give myself (and others) grace about my failure to be able to do it “all.” I mean, life is busy and sometimes hard. If you don’t give yourself some grace, it’s almost impossible to make it through.
In a somewhat related note, I’m just about to start a new book that deals with this concept – Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less. I read an interview with the author and really enjoyed her perspective so I bought the book. I’ll definitely share my thoughts over on Instagram once I finish!
How do you handle the pressure to do it all?
I’m glad you bring it up! you are so right, what we see is really an illusion. sometimes it effects me negatively as well, but that’s my own issues that are bothering me! I also don’t post the whole picture even though I do try very hard to be as real as possible (filters are amazing by the way – I certainly look younger than 48 on most posts *wink*). Thing is, I also don’t think anyone is interested in the not-so-pretty side of my life. As for balance… this is a tough one; I have been working towards better balance but when I gain time in one area, I seem to fill it up in another area… case in point – I am now working 4 days a week so I have an extra free day each week! On the other hand I signed up for another (very tough) course that is taking all my free time (plus) studying, doing homework, and working on projects. Sigh. I swear after this is all over with I’m going to do LESS. Really. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself 🙂
Yes – you’re right – it’s always a work in progress. ALWAYS!
It is so so so important to remember that what people share on social media and on their blogs is only a very small snapshot into what their lives are like. In the age of social media, its very easy to play the comparison game, but its so important to not fall into that trap. We all need to be better about focusing on ourselves, and doing what’s best for us as individuals, not in comparison to others.
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Agreed – I think avoiding comparison is the best way to go!
I write a lot about balance on my blog. It’s a tough thing. Somedays I do a better job than others. Now with my diagnosis of RA, I need to do a better job of keeping things in check.
I’m interested to hear what you think of that book.
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…I’m Springing For Prana! #spring4prAna
I’m a few chapters in and it’s really hitting home. I recommend it!
Balance is so tough. It looks like everyone is getting all their runs in and hitting their paces. I struggle to just get it done some days. With a job, husband and friends. Many times running takes second or third place.
Everyone struggles at some times, I think. We just don’t always share it. 🙂
Yes to ALL of this. In other news, I am going to need the whole run on Saturday to debrief This is Us.
omg i’m watching it tonight. super scared!
Thank you for this. I am starting a new job next week and I think I have more pressure on myself to balance everything than Im stressing about the actual job. Im stressing about how Im going to fit it all in and think, everyone else seems to be able to do it so I should too, but you are right that most of the time, it is an illusion. I need to give myself permission to give myself grace and not view it as a failure.
Yes. Good luck this upcoming week, Heather and give yourself that grace. You’ve got this!
I think it’s so important that social media only represents a very small snapshot of anyone’s life. I don’t think of balance as a steady state – there are ebbs and flows. We only have so many hours in the day, and usually way more to do than can ever be done in that time. So you prioritize and most importantly, cut yourself a big ole break on trying to get it all done!
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Amen, Michelle! So so true!
I really love this! I think it’s so important to know that social media reflects an aspect of someone’e life, not the whole thing.
Mentioning This is Us, I bawled like a baby last night (this coming from someone that cries like once every few years, lol). That show is so raw and real – I love it
oh dear. i’m watching tonight. i’ll up the tissues!!
Oooh, this book sounds interesting, Courtney; I’ll be looking forward to your thoughts! I definitely don’t “do it all;” you should see my floors right now – ha!
Okay, I’m a few chapters in and it is so great. It’s describing my life so well. I recommend it!
Thanks for bringing this up!! We all need this reminder often. Btw, I am a huge ‘This is Us’ fan too. Love the depth of all characters and intense raw emotions. Will definitely check out the book. Sounds interesting!
This book is amazing so far – I am going back already and re-reading many passages. Highly recommend!
Thanks so much for writing this, I was actually the one who had asked how you keep it all balanced and together. I myself am putting a post up about dropping balls when juggling it all later on because I think we get the illusion that everyone is doing better at balancing it than we are. Seeing the your response in that Instagram post really helped me to feel better about things. Thanks so much.
Thanks for asking the question, Abby. It’s definitely an area I think we all struggle with. I know it’s a constant juggling act for me as well!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post! Thankfully He gives us that GRACE. BTW, that ginger beer is the bomb!
Ha, yes I love that beer. The ginger ale version is also good 🙂