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The Illusion of Balance

February 21, 2017 By: Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC24 Comments

There is so much talk about work-life balance. It’s everywhere and I think that sometimes all this talk about what I call the illusion of balance can be really damaging. I say the illusion because with social media, it really is just that. An illusion. We’re all guilty of it and it’s fine. But I think it’s sometimes helpful to remember that it is indeed an illusion – even when someone is keeping it real. I was inspired to write this post after a friend asked how I balance everything. I responded on Instagram (see below) but also wanted to write a bit more in a blog post. this post contains an affiliate link.

the illusion of balance

I want to start off by talking a bit about the illusion and then I’ll move on the reality. First, the illusion. Social media is such a small portrayal of actual life. I’ll take myself for an example. On most days, I post 3 pictures to Instagram. One is always a bible verse. If I’ve run that day, that is usually my second picture. And the third could be anything – food, Sasha pics, random stuff, whatever. My point in sharing this is that the 3 pictures represent SUCH a small portion of my day and my life. They are pretty representative of who I am and what I’m about – but it’s just 3 pictures. And, they are 3 pictures that I CHOSE to share. Again, I’m honest on social media but I’m not going to share a picture of myself crying after I watch This is Us (or any commercial about dads and daughters – I’m a daddy’s girl, can’t help it). I’m probably not going to share the picture of my tasty dinner that looks really weird because of the light. I try to share things that are interesting or fun or relevant. But – 3 pictures a day is not a lot, y’all. So, yes, it is a bit of an illusion because it’s not the full picture. It’s a snapshot of life – and that’s okay as long as everyone remembers that. There are so many things that happen in life. I think it would be odd if every single thing you experienced in your life could be strung together by your Instagram posts. 

 

Someone asked me how I balance everything I have going on in my life. I thought it was a great question – I’m going to write a blog post on the topic soon. But in short, the answer is I don’t. I’m usually killing it in about 4 areas and barely hanging on in 2. The ratio changes often, sometimes daily, and I accept that. For example, I didn’t run a tempo run today because I’m still uncomfortable going to my trail in the dark alone in the mornings.Sometimes I can wait to start running until the sun comes up and just get to work a little later, but today I had an early appointment. So I punted it and thought I’d run after work. Then I got home and realized I have to wash clothes, pack for an upcoming trip and I was still answering work emails. I decided to give myself grace. I cracked open a beer and changed into sweats. Not perfect but it’s okay because I know tomorrow I’ll be right back out there killing it on the pavement. In the meantime, I’m killing it in the clean house front & the work front & the nice wife & good dog mommy front. I’ll take that and be happy with it. #grace #realtalk

A photo posted by Courtney (@eatprayrundc) on Jan 26, 2017 at 4:08pm PST

As I said on Instagram, the reality is that you can have “it all” but you probably can’t have it all at the same time. At least that is my reality. I try to give myself (and others) grace about my failure to be able to do it “all.” I mean, life is busy and sometimes hard. If you don’t give yourself some grace, it’s almost impossible to make it through. 

In a somewhat related note, I’m just about to start a new book that deals with this concept – Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less. I read an interview with the author and really enjoyed her perspective so I bought the book. I’ll definitely share my thoughts over on Instagram once I finish! 

How do you handle the pressure to do it all? 


Comments

  1. renee says

    February 22, 2017 at 3:32 am

    I’m glad you bring it up! you are so right, what we see is really an illusion. sometimes it effects me negatively as well, but that’s my own issues that are bothering me! I also don’t post the whole picture even though I do try very hard to be as real as possible (filters are amazing by the way – I certainly look younger than 48 on most posts *wink*). Thing is, I also don’t think anyone is interested in the not-so-pretty side of my life. As for balance… this is a tough one; I have been working towards better balance but when I gain time in one area, I seem to fill it up in another area… case in point – I am now working 4 days a week so I have an extra free day each week! On the other hand I signed up for another (very tough) course that is taking all my free time (plus) studying, doing homework, and working on projects. Sigh. I swear after this is all over with I’m going to do LESS. Really. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 22, 2017 at 2:16 pm

      Yes – you’re right – it’s always a work in progress. ALWAYS!

      Reply
  2. Kathryn @ Dancing to Running says

    February 22, 2017 at 7:59 am

    It is so so so important to remember that what people share on social media and on their blogs is only a very small snapshot into what their lives are like. In the age of social media, its very easy to play the comparison game, but its so important to not fall into that trap. We all need to be better about focusing on ourselves, and doing what’s best for us as individuals, not in comparison to others.
    Kathryn @ Dancing to Running recently posted…Marathon Training Plan AdviceMy Profile

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 3:17 pm

      Agreed – I think avoiding comparison is the best way to go!

      Reply
  3. Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home says

    February 22, 2017 at 9:39 am

    I write a lot about balance on my blog. It’s a tough thing. Somedays I do a better job than others. Now with my diagnosis of RA, I need to do a better job of keeping things in check.

    I’m interested to hear what you think of that book.
    Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…I’m Springing For Prana! #spring4prAnaMy Profile

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 3:13 pm

      I’m a few chapters in and it’s really hitting home. I recommend it!

      Reply
  4. Darlene says

    February 22, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Balance is so tough. It looks like everyone is getting all their runs in and hitting their paces. I struggle to just get it done some days. With a job, husband and friends. Many times running takes second or third place.

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 3:10 pm

      Everyone struggles at some times, I think. We just don’t always share it. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  5. CK @ COoking Up Kefi says

    February 22, 2017 at 11:06 am

    Yes to ALL of this. In other news, I am going to need the whole run on Saturday to debrief This is Us.

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 22, 2017 at 2:17 pm

      omg i’m watching it tonight. super scared!

      Reply
  6. Heather Debelak says

    February 22, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Thank you for this. I am starting a new job next week and I think I have more pressure on myself to balance everything than Im stressing about the actual job. Im stressing about how Im going to fit it all in and think, everyone else seems to be able to do it so I should too, but you are right that most of the time, it is an illusion. I need to give myself permission to give myself grace and not view it as a failure.

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 2:55 pm

      Yes. Good luck this upcoming week, Heather and give yourself that grace. You’ve got this!

      Reply
  7. Michelle @ Running with Attitude says

    February 22, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    I think it’s so important that social media only represents a very small snapshot of anyone’s life. I don’t think of balance as a steady state – there are ebbs and flows. We only have so many hours in the day, and usually way more to do than can ever be done in that time. So you prioritize and most importantly, cut yourself a big ole break on trying to get it all done!
    Michelle @ Running with Attitude recently posted…Hitting the Training Reset ButtonMy Profile

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 2:40 pm

      Amen, Michelle! So so true!

      Reply
  8. Kimberly G says

    February 22, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    I really love this! I think it’s so important to know that social media reflects an aspect of someone’e life, not the whole thing.

    Mentioning This is Us, I bawled like a baby last night (this coming from someone that cries like once every few years, lol). That show is so raw and real – I love it

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 22, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      oh dear. i’m watching tonight. i’ll up the tissues!!

      Reply
  9. Tara says

    February 22, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    Oooh, this book sounds interesting, Courtney; I’ll be looking forward to your thoughts! I definitely don’t “do it all;” you should see my floors right now – ha!

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      Okay, I’m a few chapters in and it is so great. It’s describing my life so well. I recommend it!

      Reply
  10. Madhuri says

    February 22, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    Thanks for bringing this up!! We all need this reminder often. Btw, I am a huge ‘This is Us’ fan too. Love the depth of all characters and intense raw emotions. Will definitely check out the book. Sounds interesting!

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 2:31 pm

      This book is amazing so far – I am going back already and re-reading many passages. Highly recommend!

      Reply
  11. Abby @BackatSquareZero says

    February 23, 2017 at 8:28 pm

    Thanks so much for writing this, I was actually the one who had asked how you keep it all balanced and together. I myself am putting a post up about dropping balls when juggling it all later on because I think we get the illusion that everyone is doing better at balancing it than we are. Seeing the your response in that Instagram post really helped me to feel better about things. Thanks so much.

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 25, 2017 at 2:30 pm

      Thanks for asking the question, Abby. It’s definitely an area I think we all struggle with. I know it’s a constant juggling act for me as well!

      Reply
  12. Zebra Girl says

    February 26, 2017 at 8:08 am

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post! Thankfully He gives us that GRACE. BTW, that ginger beer is the bomb!

    Reply
    • Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

      February 27, 2017 at 10:04 am

      Ha, yes I love that beer. The ginger ale version is also good ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply

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